Автор: SuperMax 5.6.2015, 13:15
> Expanding VMS Bigot List..
-Alan Bruns
Posted to comp.os.vms by Alan Chee without attribution:
You know you're a VMS bigot when:
- You think case sensitivity is some ones idea of an April Fools joke
- You keep trying to use the EDT keypad in Word.
- You know why the SHOW SYSTEM display had to have the "system uptime" field increased beyond 999 days.
- You have the complete VMS docset on display in your living room.
- Your mail file doesn't grow to the size of the national debt.
- You expect upper AND lower case to work the same way
- You wish your car was as reliable as your computer
- You keep wanting Digital to produce "Visual DCL"
- You don't think about the Milky Way when you hear the word "Galaxy"
- You travel to Nashua twice a year, to get the newest fashion in T-shirts and jackets
- You know where NT stores its data if they really need it to be saved
- You know what Wes Melling was talking about, saying: "When you absolutely can't tolerate down-time"
- If you think that the word "legacy" refers to the next generation of Lego toys that your kids want.
- You remember the VAXworks group
- PATCH is your favorite text editor
- You can cite chapter and verse in the docset
- You know what the bars on the wall in front of ZKO spell
- The first thing you think of when you see a dollar sign isn't money
- You refer to Unix as the only commercially available computer virus
- When you know that the console sequence to force quorum recalculation without crashing the cluster.
- When your Exchange mail is set to auto-forward to STAR
- When you know the boot file sequences to make an efficient TU58 console boot tape.
- You insist on typing SET DEF [-] at your PC's DOS prompt
- Your LOGIN.COM exceeds 200 block and is on its thousand-something version
- Your LOGIN.COM file contains its own debugging language
- Your LOGIN.COM is written in Macro
- When you need to discipline the kids at home, you refer to it as CMKRNL time
- You think that "grep, awk, yacc" sounds like a death rattle
- When you hear ICBM's you don't think of nuclear warfare
- You know what happened November 17, 1858
- You wonder why folks spend extra for a BACKUP tool
- You feel like you're using a crayon when you're working on a PC
- You still have a VAX architecture manual
- You can retrieve a file from another system with a one-line command instead of running a program, logging into the remote systems, and getting the file.
- None of your hardware uses PCI
- You tend to type a dollar sign in front of most verbs
- You think EXCHANGE is an OpenVMS utility for manipulating mass storage volumes
- You don't understand why e-mail needs to be in a format that uses half a megabyte of disk space for a one-page document.
- You maintain OpenVMS accounts on your workstation for coworkers who have migrated to PCs
- You think a form with one page of information should fit on your screen without scrolling
- You know what INSQTI means
- You know that fork queue is not an insult
- When you type $show dev d at the c:\ prompt and expect it to work
- You need a mouse with three buttons and the middle button is useful
- You turn 40 and tell friends that your are 28 hex
- A normal date is written as dd-mmm-yyyy
- You never saw the euphemism in "VAX Headroom"
- You expect all machine instruction to work left to right
- You can solve any problem with a TECO macro
- Your favorite "portable" language is TECO
- You see the movie Spawn and keep thinking about sub-processes
- You think Carl Sagen was wrong about "Galaxies"
- The only question about restoring a backup is finding it
- You believe a computer might handle more than one user at a time
- You feel Robert Frost was talking about quotas when he said: "Good fences make good neighbors"
- You presume that calling between languages "just works"
- You do not expect the previous version of your file to be destroyed by the new one
- You still measure performance in VUPS
- You understand that 'open' is a silent prefix
- You know there is more to bliss than ignorance
- You know RMS does not mean 'root mean square'
- The concept of a blue screen of death is foreign to you
- You think that a command line interface is better than a GUI
- You're surprised to find out that "cluster" is a new concept
- You have forgotten how to reboot because your system's been up so long
- You reboot your desktop station once every 15 months (and only because a tornado caused a city-wide power blackout)
- You don't have to reboot your workstation daily
- You know you can find out how to use a command by typing help and get it
- You use your VMS system to backup important files from your PC
- You don't need the UNIX for Dummies and Windows for Dummies to perform simple functions
- You want nothing to do with eunuchs
- You choke on your coffee when someone tells you Microsoft does clusters
- You Laugh when someone tells you they are certified for PC systems programming.
- You use SDA as your CLI
- Your debugger is Delta or xdelta
- You have no difficulties with using Debug in six windows on a VT100
- You know for sure that you will never meet a TPU macro virus
- You really can't think of anything Bill Gates actually invented
- The most useful app on your PC is Telnet
- The second most useful app on your PC is the CD player
- You never thought I was that bright to begin with.
- You know why the VMS development machine is named STAR
- You are still seeking "Compose Character" key on your PC keyword
- You answer 52.444 when someone asks your address
- You can talk about clusters with over 10 nodes
- You have to drive your car to ready the other Cluster nodes
- You have used patch/abs to patch an Alpha image and it worked
- The Pacific Northwest is still best known for its trees.
- You know what PMDF stands for
- You don't exit your editor when you leave for a two week vacation
- You actually expect your mail to work
- You don't follow up an email with a phone call and a fax
- You think that Microsoft is a new type of softserve ice cream
- You see no reason at all for a _minimum_ password lifetime.
- You know that the kernel is part of the operating system not Mr. Sanders first name
- You can use threads for more than sewing
- You can convert your phone number to hex
- You can use SDML
- You know what SDML stands for